Dec 5

Dec 5 The Existence of Amy

Author: Lana Grace Riva
Publisher: Self-published via Amazon
Goodreads | The StoryGraph

Normally, I don’t encourage people to buy books from Amazon, but because this book is self-published by an independent author, it’s the only way to buy it. Support indie authors however you can. <3

Note: Trigger warnings are provided for those who need them at the bottom of this page. If you don’t need them and don’t want to risk spoilers, don’t scroll past the full review.

Cover Description

Amy has a normal life. That is, if you were to go by a definition of 'no immediate obvious indicators of peculiarity', and you didn't know her very well. She has good friends, a good job, a nice enough home. This normality, however, is precariously plastered on top of a different life. A life that is Amy's real life. The only one her brain will let her lead.

TL;DR Review

The Existence of Amy is an empathetic, inside look into the way severe mental health disorders can affect a person’s life. It taught me a lot.

For you if: You want to learn more about what it’s like to suffer from OCD and depression.

Full Review

A few months ago, the author, Lana Grace Riva, reached out to me via email to see if I’d be interested in receiving a copy of The Existence of Amy for review. It is independently published through Amazon. Thank you, Lana, for sending it my way. I’m glad you did.

The Existence of Amy is told in the first person, from the perspective of a woman suffering from severe, constant OCD and episodes of depression. Every day is a struggle — to get out of bed, to face public transportation, to interact with others at work, to keep from disappointing her friends when she’s too overwhelmed to keep her promises to them. Then t opportunity to travel to Australia for work, combined with the steady support of one good friend, helps her push herself outside her comfort zone a bit, which sets the rest of the story into motion.

It took me a bit of time to fall into step with the writing, but I eventually came to understand it as part of Amy’s characterization. She’s nervous, she over-analyzes, over-explains, under-explains. She’s struggling. Once I got used to it, the book read quickly but impactfully. So hang in there with it.

This book covers a lot of ground, including how best to support someone struggling with severe mental health disorders — how to be an ally. But the most impactful thing, for me, was actually the character of Sally. I saw a lot of myself in Sally — she’s the mom of the group, she makes plans for and takes care of others because she truly cares about them, and it hurts her when those plans and attempts to help fall through. She doesn’t understand, and she’s frustrated, but it’s from a place of love and hurt. Still, her reactions aren’t helpful for Amy. It made me think about some of my own loved ones, and the moments I’ve certainly been the Sally in their lives. And it made me want to be more patient, more understanding in the future.

For that alone, the afternoon spent reading this book was worth it.