Jun 30

Jun 30 Fairest

Author: Meredith Talusan
Publisher: Viking
View on Goodreads

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Note: Trigger warnings are provided for those who need them at the bottom of this page. If you don’t need them and don’t want to risk spoilers, don’t scroll past the full review.

Cover Description

A singular, beautifully written coming-of-age memoir of a Filipino boy with albinism whose story travels from an immigrant childhood to Harvard to a gender transition and illuminates the illusions of race, disability, and gender

Fairest is a memoir about a precocious boy with albinism, a "sun child" from a rural Philippine village, who would grow up to become a woman in America. Coping with the strain of parental neglect and the elusive promise of U.S. citizenship, Talusan found childhood comfort from her devoted grandmother, a grounding force as she was treated by others with special preference or public curiosity. As an immigrant to the United States, Talusan came to be perceived as white. An academic scholarship to Harvard provided access to elite circles of privilege but required Talusan to navigate through the complex spheres of race, class, sexuality, and her place within the gay community. She emerged as an artist and an activist questioning the boundaries of gender. Talusan realized she did not want to be confined to a prescribed role as a man, and transitioned to become a woman, despite the risk of losing a man she deeply loved. Throughout her journey, Talusan shares poignant and powerful episodes of desirability and love that will remind readers of works such as Call Me By Your Name and Giovanni's Room. Her evocative reflections will shift our own perceptions of love, identity, gender, and the fairness of life.

TL;DR Review

Fairest is an expertly written memoir that has so much to give its readers. I definitely recommend it.

For you if: You enjoy memoirs, particularly by LGBTQ+ people.

Full Review

“I came to understand that what I wanted was to be seen as my complete self — my gender, my race, my history — without being judged because of it. I wanted people close to me to see an albino person who had learned how to look and act white so the world would more readily accept her, and understand how that had been part of her survival. I wanted people to see how that albino person was also transgender, how she transitioned to be able to express her femininity and had surgery so she would be perceived as being like any other woman, her qualities appreciated on those terms. And if she ever hid who she actually was, it was only so that she could be granted entrance into worlds she couldn’t otherwise reach, worlds that should rightfully belong to everyone, not just those who happen to uphold the prevailing standards of whiteness and womanhood.”

Fairest is a memoir by Meredith Talusan, an albino Filipina trans woman, that is so, so well written. It seems like there isn’t a word out of place. Talusan chose events and details with an expert eye that knows exactly what should be included, just how to frame everything so that it rings loudly with truth and meaning, and how to sink her readers into the story so she can express everything in her heart.

The book is broken into three parts: first, her childhood as a young Filipino boy struggling with toxic parents, a budding attraction to boys, and the warring hope and regret that her albino appearance gave her; second, her time at Harvard for undergrad, when she lived out loud as a gay man who appeared white, looking desperately for love and acceptance; and third, her post-graduate years grappling with an identity finally ready to make itself known and all the changes that brought to her relationships with others and herself.

I think what was most valuable to me, as a cis-het person who does her best to be an ally, was the opportunity to read about Talusan’s experiences grappling with her identity and coming to an understanding of who she was over the course of her life. There are a lot of trans stories and memoirs by people who “knew” they were trans early in life, with conviction, but it seems less common to read trans stories like this. Conceptually, I understand that gender and identity shift over time, move around, but it felt like such a gift to be given Talusan’s story in this way to help me see that more deeply.

She presents herself without reservation or justification — she simply shows us who she is and how she came to be that true self. And I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to read it. This is a book I’ll be recommending for a long time.